Wellbeing, Burnout Guide

There is no shortage of articles telling you how to avoid burnout. Here's ten tips, five habits, a checklist you'll skim over and forget by tomorrow, because everyone has the attention span of a pea these days.

So I'm doing the opposite.

Because burnout doesn't happen because you didn't know the tips. It happens because you followed a different set of instructions (often unconscious) for years, without ever calling them instructions.

So here they are, named as they should be, out loud.

You can thank me later!

*A satirical instruction manual, written the way it actually happens.

Step 1: Ignore Your Body And Your Emotions.

Live entirely in your head and make sure you only ever breathe shallow.

Push all your feelings down (eww) and tell them “they can wait...” because who has the time!

Focus only on achieving, performing and pushing through. Never celebrate the small wins.

Step 2: Say Yes Before You Even Think Twice.

Do what everyone else thinks you should do, or even better, what they want from you.

Outsource every decision, because why would you listen to yourself? That's weird.

Oh and be easy, be likeable and always comply. People please all the way!

Step 3: Stay Up Late. Wake Up Early.

Wear your exhaustion like a badge of honour. Tell yourself you'll rest when "this" is over.

Definitely scroll before bed and as soon as you wake up, it will help numb things even more.

The more tired you are, the better. Let coffee become the thing that 'fixes' your exhaustion.

Step 4: Mistake Being Needed For Being Loved.

Answer every call, every email, every emergency, immediately (except your own of course).

Never have time to even think about your own needs, let alone actually put them first.

Step 5: Cancel The One Thing That Makes Your Soul Feel Alive.

And when you do, call it being responsible. It will make you feel better about abandoning yourself.

Bonus points if you avoid being in nature, touching grass or any kind of fresh air.

Step 6: Measure Success By Comparison And Exhaustion.

Forget about the numbers or the impact you're making: if you're running, you must be winning. Right? Don't stop, keep going. Keep an eye on everyone else's success, job title and salary too, comparing yourself helps you feel something, even if that something is worse.

Step 7: Forget What Silence Sounds Like.

Keep the noise on, all the time.

Music, social media, TV, apps, group chats, multiple tabs of 'just background noise'.

That way you'll never hear yourself disappearing. You also won't need to feel the pain of the break-up you went through in 2023...smart.

Step 8: Keep Saying Yes With A Smile.

Don't be difficult and definitely become whoever others expect you to be.

Wear a mask so people always like you.

Nobody likes the honest version, or the one that has boundaries. You're easier to control that way.

Step 9: Rush Everything.

Walk fast, talk fast and eat over the sink. Move through your whole day like it's a PB you're trying to beat. Keep your nervous system on high alert permanently, 'on' is so much easier than finding out what happens if you let it feel safe enough to switch off, trust me.

Step 10: Get Rundown Or Sick, But Do Not Rest.

Tell yourself that's weak. Get angry and blame yourself, then hate your body.

And while you're there, judge yourself harshly, the harder the better.

Then look yourself in the mirror and wonder who this version of you is.

Follow this with a breakdown and be swallowed by shame.

This really gets you to the finish line!

Bonus Step: Don't Focus On Your Purpose.

Adding this bonus step because people who love being burnt out also LOVE adding more to the list.

Keep doing that job you hate, we all know money equals happiness anyway.

Don't follow your dreams. Don't even think about them or listen to them, they should only get airtime at night, when your eyes are closed.

Congratulations!

You made it. You became everything everybody needed, and ignored your own needs completely.

You are officially empty. Your self erasure is complete. You have successfully achieved burnout, well done.

The Part Nobody Puts in the Instructions

Here's the thing about a list like this, it works exactly as designed. Every step is logical on its own because compliance feels safe, exhaustion feels like proof somehow and rest feels like weakness, in the world we currently live in.

None of it feels like self erasure while you're doing it. It only reveals itself as erasure once you're standing in the wreckage, asking yourself how did this happen?

Trust me, I've been here way too many times to count!

I feel the real work isn't necessarily a new checklist of things to do instead, it's noticing which instructions you've been unknowingly following (likely for decades) to begin with and asking yourself whose voice they were ever in?

Your parents? A teacher? A partner? Society? A boss?

I don't believe burnout is simply a productivity problem, it's a conditioning problem. Because you didn't lose yourself or burnout by complete accident. You were following instructions, perfectly, for a long time...without realising.

Here's the good news. These Instructions can be unlearned. And even better, you don't have to unlearn all of them at once. And you definitely don't need a retreat in Bali to start... although, would be nice!

So consider this your permission slip.

You're allowed to say no to:

• Scrolling instead of sitting in silence

• Going to bed late and getting up early

• Saying yes before you've actually thought about it

• Outsourcing every decision instead of trusting your own

• Answering every email and call immediately, except the ones from yourself

• Cancelling the thing that makes your soul feel alive

• Comparing your pace to everyone else's

• Wearing exhaustion like proof you're doing enough

• Wearing a mask so people keep liking you

• Judging yourself harshly when your body finally gives out

• Pushing through

• Being unkind to yourself

• An unfulfilling job

• Add your own thing!

Start with whichever one hit you the hardest. It hit because it's likely already true for you!

And remember, no is a full sentence. You're allowed to say it, I've given you permission remember ;)

People rarely rewrite their whole life in a single decision. But everyone who's ever changed theirs, did it exactly like this. One small change at a time, until the pile of change added up to a different them and a different life.